Tomás Ford, the man who I’ve watched dry hump and pash randoms in a bar on several occasions said he wanted minions to be part of a controlled riot. All I knew was that we were supposed to help him out in his act. Hmmm, I thought, dry humping randoms in a bar sounds like my scene, count me in!So Spike and I went to the Bakery* for rehearsal. The first exercise was to introduce ourselves AA style in a large circle: state your name, performance history and what crazy fucked up shit you thought you’d have to do today. Well, the 13 minions' performance history ranged from everything to nothing, and we thought we’d have to do mindfucking, hitting, and like Spike said; dry humping- the reply from Tomás was yes, not recommended and no (although as commented, wet humping was allowed after the show was over). The idea was we had to come up with things which we were comfortable doing to complete randoms that would a) annoy them b) share the love and c) be dancetastic#.
So after some rehearsal and deciding on what was just plain annoying, loving and dancetastic, and after several remarks were made about me being battery operated in my ranting, we were let out into the sun and non-sticky floors to aimlessly wander around the city for the next 5 hrs until the gig started. Cue aimless wandering and boredom, watching the delightful inhabitants of Northbridge urinating in various public places.
Gig….Little G was there because she entered a 24 hour cartoon competition, hence got in for free (at $30 a ticket it was a bit steep for most of the punks to show up). When we got there, Spike, Little G & I sat in the large igloo, creating gas to be trapped in the top of the igloo and slowly gassing the other people who would go and be all cool and trendy sitting in the igloo later on in their Gucci dress that cost them way too much. Then Special Brew were on, so me, Little G and one of Tomás’s minions skanked along to Rudies who will be applying for false teeth soon…one of the shames of punk is its original members are getting old. Then it was showtime.
First song: time to be just plain annoying. Got a few disgusted looks of randoms…hehehe it works! Then it was Tomás’s time to be super confrontational so we left it and were slightly inconspicuous, just dancing around near the front. After, us minions closed off the bar by blocking the way, this managed to piss off a few punters including some small Asian woman who had to jump and d
o acrobats just for her libation. I think it also worked in blocking the front row view of Tomás’s Cayote Ugly moves on the bar which pissed a few people off. When Tomás got off the bar it was time to weave, this meant being the most obnoxious person you could think about, climbing over and between people just top get through them despite the fact that there was space either side of them. Spilling drinks (yours or there’s if possible) on them. Then it was time to show some love, so we started a mass hug, which kind of turned into a mass circle, which spontaneously combusted on itself, usually when Tomás was in the middle. I was kind of intrigued by the fact that non-minions were initiating can-can style kicks around the circle and running in to Tomás, I guess his ideas of a space where people feel comfortable doing anything is actually working. Then we generally creeped people out, followed by our dancetastic moves, getting randoms who really wanted to dance but had too many inhibitions to dance actually dance and starting a huge conga line, by grabbing randoms and not letting go until they were dancing, again random non-minions started grabbing friends and random people too.
After the feast that was Tomás, the Bakery was empty and everyone filed out to go smoke. I’ve never seen the Bakery that full before. Some people managed to tag on that we were his minions, but at the end, some just thought that we were extremely obnoxious arts types (or alternatively if they were the obnoxious arts types, that we were just punky scum) who were huge fans of dancing and were generally on some pretty strong party drugs.
After that we watched someone twirl fire from her nipples and some guy drive a nail through his penis. As you can tell, some quality entertainment followed.
* For you non-Perthians, it’s a gig venue
# Yes, we’re checking the validity of the word!
Sorry about the photos Tomás. Tomás's myspace is www.myspace.com/tomasford where you can hear some of his songs, check out show details and general stuff.So after some rehearsal and deciding on what was just plain annoying, loving and dancetastic, and after several remarks were made about me being battery operated in my ranting, we were let out into the sun and non-sticky floors to aimlessly wander around the city for the next 5 hrs until the gig started. Cue aimless wandering and boredom, watching the delightful inhabitants of Northbridge urinating in various public places.
Gig….Little G was there because she entered a 24 hour cartoon competition, hence got in for free (at $30 a ticket it was a bit steep for most of the punks to show up). When we got there, Spike, Little G & I sat in the large igloo, creating gas to be trapped in the top of the igloo and slowly gassing the other people who would go and be all cool and trendy sitting in the igloo later on in their Gucci dress that cost them way too much. Then Special Brew were on, so me, Little G and one of Tomás’s minions skanked along to Rudies who will be applying for false teeth soon…one of the shames of punk is its original members are getting old. Then it was showtime.
First song: time to be just plain annoying. Got a few disgusted looks of randoms…hehehe it works! Then it was Tomás’s time to be super confrontational so we left it and were slightly inconspicuous, just dancing around near the front. After, us minions closed off the bar by blocking the way, this managed to piss off a few punters including some small Asian woman who had to jump and d
o acrobats just for her libation. I think it also worked in blocking the front row view of Tomás’s Cayote Ugly moves on the bar which pissed a few people off. When Tomás got off the bar it was time to weave, this meant being the most obnoxious person you could think about, climbing over and between people just top get through them despite the fact that there was space either side of them. Spilling drinks (yours or there’s if possible) on them. Then it was time to show some love, so we started a mass hug, which kind of turned into a mass circle, which spontaneously combusted on itself, usually when Tomás was in the middle. I was kind of intrigued by the fact that non-minions were initiating can-can style kicks around the circle and running in to Tomás, I guess his ideas of a space where people feel comfortable doing anything is actually working. Then we generally creeped people out, followed by our dancetastic moves, getting randoms who really wanted to dance but had too many inhibitions to dance actually dance and starting a huge conga line, by grabbing randoms and not letting go until they were dancing, again random non-minions started grabbing friends and random people too.After the feast that was Tomás, the Bakery was empty and everyone filed out to go smoke. I’ve never seen the Bakery that full before. Some people managed to tag on that we were his minions, but at the end, some just thought that we were extremely obnoxious arts types (or alternatively if they were the obnoxious arts types, that we were just punky scum) who were huge fans of dancing and were generally on some pretty strong party drugs.
After that we watched someone twirl fire from her nipples and some guy drive a nail through his penis. As you can tell, some quality entertainment followed.
* For you non-Perthians, it’s a gig venue
# Yes, we’re checking the validity of the word!
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